Desperate Measures and Raw Wounds
by IntoTheWilds
Summary: ONE-SHOT: During a routine teasing, one he has directed many times at Reid, Morgan finds out a truth he never intended to seek out...


**DISCLAIMER**: _I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters!_

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Based after **Season 4, episode 24 'Amplication'**._ _This literally hit me when I woke up this morning. So I decided to just follow the plot bunny wherever it was going. It's a smidge **AU** and I profusely apologise if my description of Anthrax recovery is highly incorrect. I'm depending on the internet for that part, considering it has been many, **MANY** years since Ireland saw an attack._

_Anywho enjoy my lovelies and PLEASE read and review. OH! And take my new poll PLEAAAAASE!_

_IntoTheWilds_

_xxxx_

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_"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long." __  
**― **_**_Sylvia Plath_**

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Coffee, oh good sweet heaven above he wanted coffee, the smell of it wafting from the break room was driving him demented, but alas even four months after his horrifying encounter with Anthrax, Reid's throat still couldn't handle scalding substances and he point blank refused to take his Caffeine anywhere below boiling. He had seen his Doctor only the day before and was immensely relieved to hear, a month or so more and the damages done by the disease will have finally past. Till then he was watching his food and beverages, drinking plenty of water and using his temporary inhaler whenever he needed it.

At least he had been let back to work. Another day at home and Reid would've officially lost his mind. There were only so many books one could read, and anything Sci-Fi related had lost its appeal sometime ago.

Stopping by his desk, Spencer dragged the strap of his messenger bag over his head and set it down. Roughly ten files waited for him, but that was nothing new, and after coming off a case only the day before it was a nice change of pace. As per usual he was the first to get in, and right on time, Derek Morgan was the second.

"Hey pretty boy," the older agent called cheerfully.

"Hey Morgan," Reid responded with an easy smile catching a glimpse of his best friend before he made tracks for the break room, for coffee, _lucky bastard_.

The haunted look that had filled his dark eyes had somewhat lessened. A good night's sleep away from the bloody images of six innocent children had done Morgan at least some good and for that Spencer was glad. The cases that involved children always hit Morgan the hardest. Each of them had the ones that stayed with them and for Morgan this one was no exception. If he could erase his friend's pain, he would in a heartbeat, but Derek needed to work through it himself, then put it away in that box inside his mind and try not to think about it.

"Still no coffee?" The older agent asked on his return smiling sympathetically down at his coffee addicted friend.

Spencer pouted childishly, "No, my throat and chest are still a little too sensitive, just as if I had a chest infection."

Morgan winced at Spencer's choice in words. After all it had been a little more than a chest infection and God, it would be a long time before he ever forgot about the image of Reid coughing up blood, with tubes snaking this way and that from his body while a corpse had far better colour. Remembering something from that day, Morgan grinned. He had been meaning to question Spencer about it for a while now, but the opportunity had never come up. Now with just the two of them in the bullpen, he decided to finally broach the subject.

"I'd be more worried about that decorative secret along the left side of your ribs being found out."

Spencer's head whipped up so fast, Morgan was surprised he hadn't given himself whiplash. His hazel irises had blown wide, and his expression was nothing short of horrified.

"Y-You looked? I thought you had left!" Spencer squeaked positively mortified.

"I happened to glance back and you had your shirt off, so I caught sight of the artwork your sporting," Morgan's smile only grew. So great was his mirth he hadn't noticed the kid's discomfort, "Okay pretty boy spill, was it a drunken regret in your teens, a girl talk you into it, or was it just a rebellious moment? Because Dr Spencer Reid would have been the last person I thought would get a tribal-rose tattoo, or _any _tattoo for that matter."

Leg bouncing agitatedly, twirling a pen between his fingers Spencer considered just waving it off, denying Morgan the answer. But if there was one thing Morgan had in spades was persistence, which was just a polite way of saying he was an extremely nosy bastard. Then again, weren't all profilers? Some called it a thirst for knowledge, others an invasion of privacy.

Feeling slightly sick, Spencer dragged a hand through his hair and with a sigh he gave in and began to recant a tail he had never told anyone, "I was Sixteen, studying at Caltech and, eh, looking after my mother. It was getting harder to keep house, feed us both and between college coursework and my Mom's episodes jobs never lasted. We had hit a particularly bad month, one where I basically had a choice between feeding ourselves or my Mom's medication, but I needed both."

Swallowing, he noted Morgan had pulled up a chair and his earlier amused expression had changed to a slightly concerned one. Clearly he knew he had touched a nerve with his previous teasing.

"I was looking at bulletin board on the campus, looking for anything to gain a bit of extra cash when I came upon a flyer. A Caltech student, I never did ask what he was studying, had been looking for volunteers. He wanted to get into tattooing; explained Caltech was simply to keep his parents happy. Anyway, he was offering a thousand dollars a tattoo, rich kid, and out of desperation I went."

Spencer laughed bitterly, "Joey Wheeler was the name he gave me. It wasn't until after I found out, Joey Wheeler, is the English dub of a character out of a Japanese Manga released the year before called _Yu-Gi-Oh! _He was twenty-six, friendly and I stupidly trusted him. The tattoo hurt quite a bit, it is rather detailed so it took a lot longer than I expected. Thankfully I eventually numbed to the worst of it. It was extremely well done, though he went a little too deep, so it has scarred."

A distant, haunted look came over the young genius and Morgan's heart rate picked up. No, oh God _no_! He knew that look, had seen it too many times in his own mirror to ever forget it.

"It's the aftermath that makes me wish I didn't have an eidetic memory because I can still see, hear, smell every single detail of that day," Spencer whispered not even conscious of the tears that had begun to fall, "I was sixteen and he outweighed me by almost two hundred pounds. I can still feel him sometimes, when I, let myself go back to that darker moment in my life, and afterward he pressed the money in my hand and...And said, 'here's a bonus to go with it'..."

"Jesus," Morgan croaked no longer able to stay silent, fumbling he grasped for Spencer's hand and wasn't remotely surprised when he flinched a little at the contact. After a moment Spencer wrapped his fingers about Morgan's, taking the support when it was given.

"I guess, it was after that my slight aversion to touch began," Spencer said smiling weakly through his tears.

"Did you report it?"

Spencer swallowed and shook his head, "I know I should've, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I was frightened and," he grimaced, "I was too in need of the money. Jesus that sounds awful!"

"No, kid, look at me, pretty boy _look_ at me," when Morgan had his attention he squeezed his hand, "it was not your fault and you were a kid who was desperate to help his mother, who ended up hurt in the process and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have teased you about the tattoo."

Scrubbing away the tears, Spencer shook his head, "no, I-I'm glad you asked. It feels good to finally tell someone that, like some of the old ache can finally go away."

God, Morgan knew only too well how that felt. He knew the horrible fear and leverage that could easily buy your silence and the relief once you finally told someone, _anyone_! He wished Spencer could've been spared that kind of pain. Hadn't the kid been through enough?

As the bullpen began to fill up, Spencer and Derek drew apart returning their attentions to the paperwork littered over their desks, promising to discuss it further later when they had privacy. Spencer felt lighter than he had in years and as he often did, he thanked whatever forces were out there for the supportive, understanding and loving being that was Derek Morgan.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_Okay, just in case some of you are a tad confused. I hinted that Spencer is unaware of Derek's past revealed in Season 2. See my interpretation of Derek's abuse, was that Gideon and Hotch knew about it after Season 2, but the rest of the team didn't know until Season 8. I've noticed a lot of fics suggest otherwise, so I'm just clearing it up in case anyone points out what they may consider a mistake, because it's just my view of it. Okay? Good ^_^_


End file.
